Jacob

I need to tell a story.

It's about friendship, closeness, amazingly intense sex and growing intimacy. It's about dreaming dreams together and working together on corp accounts. It's about clans, and plays, and the whole freedom-duty-individual-group thing. It's about exploring our shared darkness, as well as the light, and finding that we call to each other on so many levels.

I do not want to tell this story.

I fear that telling it will make it fade, like dreams in daylight. Or telling it will give it a reality that's more than what we make each time we're together, and I will come to resent that for casting me in a role I no longer want to play.

I've said I am not good with words of love. I'd rather show what I feel through my actions. And... I'm a little broken by dreams that have faded.

But... maybe...

I anticipate future pain. It is sometimes the price of present joy.

And I embrace them both.