Negotiation

Jonny is back.

The long stint in the bath before I got his message only meant I was well primed and most likely a little too keen. But yes. Very definitely yes. We're still a good fit.

There was also, though, a lot of talk about our relationship. I think we're both sick of the talking. I am, but I keep hoping that one last foray will mean we understand. And I did learn some things.

It's complicated because it is complicated. He wants to be trapped, but he wants some real choice in the matter. And he wants to be free to leave at any time without repercussions.

I think this means he wants to feel needed without actually being needed.

And when he talks about need -- about whether he needs me -- that can be symbolic need. To represent something. Not 'need' like I use it, for air and water.

So we are making headway, I think.

I'm trying to puzzle out what he is, rather than assuming he's what I expect a freecaptain would be. I think he still doesn't understand what it means to be a clanchild, and how the concept of family is different.

Afterwards there was Gyng, and, well, family. Maybe I'll find words for that later. For now I'll think about Jonny, and smile.